I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
