Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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