Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
