I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drake has all the answers
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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