How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize