hotel room ftw
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's shark week go big or go home
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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