I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
