Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
