until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
