$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
