Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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