I got chris browned last night
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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