I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize