I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
