Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
