I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
