He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
