i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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