i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
