We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
