Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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