at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
