She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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