You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
