Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize