somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"it" just moved
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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