He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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