Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize