Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
