I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize