she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
