his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
