they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
