gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
