Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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