Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
