it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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