I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
