It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize