I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
