Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
