I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
