We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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