Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
