i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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