Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Moan for me like Helen Keller
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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