I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
