yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize