Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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