I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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