did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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