it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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