I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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