just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
