Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
its liver damage thursday
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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