Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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