OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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