Fuck appropriateness.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
