You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
PANTIES FOUND
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