i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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