hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
