Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
