i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
