what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
