did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
