is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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