youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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