I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
