Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
