We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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