Kiss
Puke
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
