Sponge bath it is.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
