S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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