his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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